Processing Madras and getting it out to the Universe
I guess the great thing about visiting Madras was realizing I am not the only one that is not living the life they thought they would have by now. Some of us have pulled into the 30 something depot with all the correct baggage in hand. Wife or Husband, children, house payment, retirement a financial reality. Some of us wake up when the train came to a halt and are completely empty handed and are left scratching our heads hmm where are my bags, should I have bags?
Maybe the piggy back of the 35th birthday, giving up what little life I did have to move in with the family, then following that up with going home was like a big hammer over the head. Sue Brown and old family friend told me a story I'm sure was supposed to be encouraging about her 40 something single lady friend that was happy with her fabulous single life and the future of dancing through it to her own drum. Well that story made me want to kinda cry.
I think I'm going to prioritize a love life. Do I still want a job in rescue, do I still want to write? Yes, but I can have all that with a significant other. Probably a very patient understanding other but. Of course just making that decision makes me feel better. How to implement that decision is going to be a little harder. Especially since I do not want anything motivating me to stay in Enterprise. Jessica and I agree that getting a sticker that says Single and Looking and planting it on my ass is a funny solution. Perhaps not the classiest. So this is my attempt to just get it out into the universe. I am not happy being single anymore. I want to have sex daily, heated discussions, someone to cook for and someone to travel with me. Ok Universe do your job!
Maybe the piggy back of the 35th birthday, giving up what little life I did have to move in with the family, then following that up with going home was like a big hammer over the head. Sue Brown and old family friend told me a story I'm sure was supposed to be encouraging about her 40 something single lady friend that was happy with her fabulous single life and the future of dancing through it to her own drum. Well that story made me want to kinda cry.
I think I'm going to prioritize a love life. Do I still want a job in rescue, do I still want to write? Yes, but I can have all that with a significant other. Probably a very patient understanding other but. Of course just making that decision makes me feel better. How to implement that decision is going to be a little harder. Especially since I do not want anything motivating me to stay in Enterprise. Jessica and I agree that getting a sticker that says Single and Looking and planting it on my ass is a funny solution. Perhaps not the classiest. So this is my attempt to just get it out into the universe. I am not happy being single anymore. I want to have sex daily, heated discussions, someone to cook for and someone to travel with me. Ok Universe do your job!
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