Saturday, January 11, 2014

Zombie Survival


My best friend and I have managed to maintain our relationship despite us living on opposite sides of the country now.  I reside in charming Charleston, South Carolina.  This is a state Ellen refuses to submit her or her hound dog to. She believes a hair deviling humidity and comatose inducing heat part of the country. 
Ellen lives in amazing Jackson, Wyoming. I reject ever living anywhere again that gets colder than 30 degrees, well in my fantasy world ever, but in reality after this last chilly week we’ll say almost never. 
I would love to say that Ellen and I refuse to purchase cable because of our anti commercialism. Perhaps we could say we don't watch ABC from an adopted attitude that we have better things to do, higher calling things to do with our time, but really it’s because we are poor.  The solution to ignore all those more rewarding time fillers like get outdoors, volunteer or read a decent book and mush our brains was solved when I discovered our public libraries have turned into Blockbuster without the fees. TV series, movies, reality shows all ready to be checked out at your local county facility. Over the last eight months we have bounced different shows off of each other.  Hung, Girls, Shameless, Breaking Bad and finally I got Ellen to try Walking Dead. 

Despite her dismissive text, “You really like your plots being spoon fed to you?” I knew she was still gorging herself on the series when I received a message questioning what shoe to wear for when the zombie apocalypse finally does arrive?  Practical hiking or those favorite grey suede boots that it would be a sin to leave behind? 

I am not really the diehard going to try to live out my life until I’m 100 kind of gal. I figure when the aches and pains and no retirement cash catch up to me I’ll Thelma and Louise it, but if the world goes all brain eating before I rent a thunderbird convertible I totally see the two of us up for a good challenge of going survivalist.  Your credit score is wiped out in this time of duress right? 
So from shoes to skills needed the evening resulted in how us two gals could stay alive list. We have decided to split our getting ready for doom duties.  Ellen is going to learn to hotwire cars and do basic auto repairs.  I’m assigning her minor medical as well since I just don’t do those things.  I am getting zombie butt kicking fit and will learn hand gun safety and precision. I want to sharpen up on my  edible plants. I'm not a details kind of gal but if I keep in mind the outcome of the movie Into The Wild that should keep me picky about what we put in our mouths.

 I’m pretty sure the love of my life will perform some act of kindness and die in the first flurry. It will be hard without him but I will stay strong because of his sacrifice. So it will be up to just the two of us equipped with our top ten needs and our heroic sidekick dogs. One zombie attacking labrador and a hound that can smell the recently expired, walking dead better look out!    

Zombie Survival top 10-

1. Vintage Cloud Walker back pack-
I was lucky enough during my stalking of the local thrift store in Jackson to reap the benefits of the rich disposing of their junk and found the perfect hiking bag.  You really would have to pry this out of my cold hands.

2.  Nalley Chilli- This is my go to comfort food and it could be used as a brain smasher in a pinch.

3. My Gramps hunting knife- I was lucky enough to come across this during my de-cluttering of my Grandmothers home. It was so lonely just sitting in the bottom drawer of a hutch.  Still sharp and complete with a homemade leather belt holder. 

4. Survival cord bracelet-Have you seen these things? How handy is this piece of jewelry.  I can leash the dog or tie up my pants. I might grab a couple of these.

5. Waterproof hiking boots-I would get some ankle protecting Keen's to stomp through the world.

6. Favorite book-I was going to go with Grapes of Wrath but I figure a little comedy might be needed so Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe it is.

7. Towel-those of you who have ever read my favorite above book would never leave home without one so why should I. They make this camping one that is antibacterial with it's own net bag I have my eye on.

8.Green Columbia Wool Jacket-You will see many pictures of me in this every occasion jacket on FB, yet another thrift store find.  You cant go wrong with wool and it's light enough to stash.

9. Toothbrush-I agree with Ellen a toothbrush will just help you feel clean even if you haven't bathed in days.

10.Cantacts/glasses-I will be useless without one or the other and you don't have to wipe blood splatter off of contacts.  Just before it goes down I'm robbing a Wal-Mart of a lifetime supply! 


Miss you very much Ellen!